At a house party, 5-6 bottles/cans and I’m pretty happy. In pervy dancey dancey places - where pretty boys in checked shirts (since when are Lumberjacks fashionable?) who think they are Topman models assemble every weekend - I can have about 80 Jager bombs and a gallon of lager and still feel annoyingly sober.
Your average club-goer
Yeah they water down the drinks, everyone knows this, but the real reason is fucking obvious. The government, or the Illuminati, I haven’t decided which, have developed a drug, which acts as an alcohol slower.
This drug is popped into every drink, and has no taste. You keep drinking, but don’t feel any more intoxicated, so buy more and more in frustration. This explains why, when you get home, or in the taxi home, you suddenly realise you are actually quite fucked. All that alcohol has been allowed to go to your head as the effect of the pill has worn off.
The reason places seem to have become stricter on ID recently is because the drug has been found to have adverse effects on those below the age of 18.
Symptoms include, and are not limited to:
- Unexplainable desire to wear checked shirts
- Thinking you have “swagger”
- Enjoying the music of Tinie Tempah
If you know of anyone suffering these symptoms, put your own safety first, and give them a big fucking slap.
Pre-drinking is vital. Thank you for your time.
David Cameron is the perfect example of the agenda that the Illuminati are trying to push. Firstly, his forehead is perfectly large enough to do this: 
Cameron has raised tuition fees and has abolished projects like Building Schools for the Future, everything will cost more but will be shitter. EMA is disappearing and statistics show that less people will be able to attend further education colleges because of this. This fits perfectly with the Illuminati agenda.
They want to dumb us all down, the idea of an intelligent human race with the ability to resist them is their worst nightmare. Lady Gaga is a prime example of this, you only need to look at recent videos like ‘Born This Way’ to see the occult symbolism used to brain-wash her young fans. (And look at her name, “Gaga”, a baby babbling noise, symbolic for the idea of dumbing us all down.)
Now he wants to “reform the NHS”, or as people properly in the know (doctors) would say, “destroy the NHS”. Not only does he want us all to be thick as pig shit, now we’re all gonna fucking die because our GPs will be too overloaded with shit they don’t want to be doing to diagnose us properly, not to mention the increase in hospital waiting times since they’re scrapping them Labour targets.
The Coalition is also pissing on the poor and those most in need by cutting benefits, which is similar to how the Illuminati think the poor and feeble have no place in society, as long as the rich and powerful are happy the rest of us act as slaves.
The Big Society? Yeah perfect, the small people do all the work and run everything for them, this is the beginning of the enslavement of the human race. It’s only a matter of time before this idea becomes compulsory, volunteering is a thing of the past. Hey you with no skills in running a school whatsoever, make a school here or we’ll delete your fucking life. (since everything that matters about us is just a bit of information on a database).
Why is Cameron doing this? Because he’s the fucking anti-christ, that’s why. He’s not quite as bad as Barack Obama who at the moment is succeeding at getting his glorified concentration (FEMA) camps, but he’s still pretty evil. Don’t get me wrong, this is nothing to do with political parties. If Labour was in the same kind of shit would be happening. They would’ve raised tuition fees too, and ID Cards? Don’t get me started, maybe that should be saved for a Big Brother related article.
Whoever is in charge is fucked, as politicians are just puppets for the Satanists who rule the world.
Muse, one of many mainstream bands to write songs about conspiracies. Their new stage set-up shows pyramids with eyes, British currency burning down and other symbolic things.
If you’ve never heard of the Illuminati, you’ve been living under a fucking boulder. They are blamed for everything, and they include everyone, and apparently wish to control the population for their own sick and often ritual-like needs, making sacrifices and manipulating governments. Freemasons, Jews, Atheists, Satanists, Bankers, Politicians, you name ‘em, someone thinks they’re involved.
Wars, terrorism, financial crises, celebrity deaths, natural disasters, they’re behind everything. You can’t read conspiracies without seeing this symbol, meant to represent the “Big Brother-like” Illuminati watching over us, with us at the bottom of the pyramid and the fat cats at the top.
It really doesn’t help that there was a card game called “Illuminati” in the 90’s that showed two towers being hit by a plane amongst other strange images, one called “Population reduction” and another with a giant clock being taken down (watch out Big Ben).
Then there’s also the idea of a “New World Order” which suggests that the governments of the world want to bring us all under one world government and one world bank etc, but this theory is shit so ignore it.
But not all conspiracies are focused around them, they had nothing to do with Paul McCartney’s death.
There’s too many conspiracy theorists out there who come across as ignorant fools, with a weak grasp of reality and too much time on their hands. So hopefully this blog will add me to this list.
There’s a lot of shit going down that you probably don’t know about, and if you follow this blog hopefully you will feel enlightened.
To clarify, I don’t believe in everything I type. I simply want to give you the information, and let you make of it what you will. Misinformation and made-up statistics are guaranteed.
